Last week it snowed, again. Forced to sit inside, I began reflecting on what I’d done during the past couple of weeks; money spent, weed smoked, skateboard fantasies had. I became so bored that I began looking at job listings on Craigslist with no intention of pursuing any of them whatsoever. As usual, there were jobs available in the food service industry. Bussers & Servers Wanted. There were scams whose syntactical title errors gave themselves away. Act Now. Be Your Boss. Snow removal was also pretty lucrative (surprise, it’s February). So I was perusing through all of the bullshit when something caught my genuine interest. Key phrases in the link were “research study” and “seasonal depression.” Hello. This link must have been looking for me (and most likely the majority of people reading this piece). It was as if these people knew every skateboarder in Chicago had been losing their mind for the last two months and they wanted to wrangle them up. These are the ideal candidates. The scientists behind the study could conduct an entire dissertation on seasonal depression in Chicagoan skaters alone. So intrigued was I that I began responding to the ad. I thought ‘Shit, I’ll give them their money’s worth on this deal.’ That was until I noticed how much money they were prepared to dish out. Abort mission. It’s gonna take more than thirty bucks to turn my condition into a statistic. Low-ballers.
I imagine security guards downtown experience the same tedium of winter months as we do. Without us, they have no reason to stand up and walk outside for two minutes. The guy sitting at the front desk of Bank One counts down the hours until the end of his shift. The guy over at Picasso day dreams of the time when he’ll be able to kick some skateboarders off the property. Meanwhile, I re-run skate videos, wash the dishes, sweep salt out of the hallway, and pray my sanity lasts until the next time someone wants to drive up to Cream City.
